Mike Delap and his wife Rebekah recently adopted siblings, aged 3 and 4, through Adoption Matters and wanted to share their story for National Adoption Week, 16-22 October 2017.
What makes Mike’s story quite unique is that Mike was also adopted through the agency. Moira and John Delap from Stockport, Manchester, adopted Mike through Adoption Matters in 1984 when he was a young baby. They went on to have three birth children, Jonathan, Hannah and Nick to became a family of 6!
Mike said: “My parents and I have always been very open about my adoption and a couple of years ago I ran the London Marathon to raise funds for Adoption Matters. They helped me find the great life and upbringing that I have enjoyed and now my wife and I are delighted to have also adopted our beautiful children through the agency”.
Why you did you choose to adopt siblings?
I guess we always imagined that we would have a family of four – that’s how my wife and I imagined our life together. As a couple we’re obviously very happy in each other’s company (I hope) but we’ve always had designs on having two children and thankfully that’s exactly what the Gods of fate have provided for us.
Ever since we started the adoption process our preference was for siblings, that didn’t change at any stage. I never expected they’d both be THAT much better looking than me but then you can’t have it all I guess!
What are the best and worst bits of parenting siblings?
The best bit is absolutely without doubt the strong bond that they share with each other. Through everything they’ve ever gone through they’ve always had each other – that’s the one constant from day one and it’s lovely to see. It’s almost telepathic the understanding our boy and girl have between them at times and the big brother is very protective over his little sister… the way it should be.
The worst bit is that no matter what you do, how you do it and whichever way you slice it you always feel you’re not giving them both the exact 50% share of attention that they both deserve. It’s a constant niggling doubt that you’re of course completely overthinking but it never goes and you want them both to feel equal, with no favourites and fair in everything that you do for them. – even if the little man can’t bring himself to share the joy with his ever developing sister.
What would you say to someone who is considering adopting siblings?
Do it. They’re hard work, they’re tiring, they’re relentless and they’re a handful at the best of times – but they’re our family and if when you find the right pair for you it’s a dream come true. When we found our two we just knew they were for us and not once did we ever feel we made the wrong choice.
Two of them coming at you at once can feel like the culture shock to the end them all when you’re new to parenting like we are. It’s a shock to the system but if you weigh up the rewards and counter them with the difficulties it’s not even a contest. We’ve been lucky to be blessed a lot in our lives but this beats them all hand down.
Plus they’ve both got each other which is worth its weight in gold.
To find out more about adoption and the different options available, contact Adoption Matters on Freephone: 0300 123 1066 or download a free, no obligation information pack here.